RolingerBlog Selfishness
I don't have a lot of time to write blogs anymore. I'm pretty much focused on one thing: caring for my mom. I thought recently, though, maybe I should write the things I'm learning as a caregiver to help me process what I'm going through, and maybe to help someone else at the same time. Thus begins my blogging (for I don't know how long) on caregiving lessons. (This might be the first and last.)
Caregiving is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. One of the reasons it is so difficult is that it demands giving up my selfish desires (whatever that is at any given moment) and asks that I love as Christ loved. He gave up His rights as the Eternal God and came to earth and sacrificed Himself, so that I could live with Him. (Please read Philippians 2!) What an amazing sacrifice!
In order to care for my mom, I have to give up my rights, my SELF. Not once, but constantly! I have chosen to sacrifice myself so that my mom can enjoy her final days here. What does that mean exactly? I give up my time, my friendships, my strength, my life, all the while standing against today's culture. I was asked the other day by a sweet friend if I was taking the time I need for myself. I tried to explain to her I gave that up when I chose to care for my mom. This may sound drastic to you, but that is my choice for awhile. If I choose to cling to my desires I will be frustrated and not do the job God has called me to. (Oh, that's another blog topic!) Choosing to give up my own desires has, however, filled me with joy unspeakable (when I'm not struggling to give them up!) AND by the way, God will often give me my desires, only in such a lovely, more wonderful way!
I have seen God care for me. That is so much better than me trying to care for myself. (That topic is definitely blogs and blogs!)
Did you know that when God saves a person, it's from the eternal consequences of his sin, but there's more?!! He saves us from a self centered life. Now that's something to think and think about! It's a challenge to us all. I want you to know that I have not achieved selflessness! That's hilarious! But I'm thankful that this job God has given me to do has stretched and stretched me to be aware of my selfishness and to choose to say "NO!" to it.
He died for all,
so that they who live might no longer live for themselves,
but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
2 Corinthians 5:15
Comments
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I have been thinking, too, that these lessons come to us in various ways all during our lives. You, with young children, are learning these same lessons! Sacrifice and service are really basic lessons! Oh that I could learn my lessons well.
Love you! Thanks for your encouragement!
So much I could say, but I was thinking the same as Rachel, it reminded me of what the Lord has asked of me in motherhood, dying to self, one painful moment and interaction at a time. There is so much more blessing, encouragement and joy in knowing you are doing *exactly* what the Lord has asked of you, and not looking to take care of yourself. I agree, He does a far better job of that anyway, and it is so much sweeter given as a gift from Him, then fought for selfishly.
Love you sweet lady, and we won't stop praying!
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